Today was a fantastic day to pilot the LISTEN model for pausing and reflecting in conversations at the SDF Festival 2024. I’m pushing for a world that values pausing and reflecting as a revolutionary shift in how we work.
Reactive, fast-paced cultures and endless to-do lists with no pausing for reflection lead us to burn out, while surface-level solutions designed in response to problems rarely offer real innovation.
By pausing and reflecting before, during, and after challenging or conflicted conversations, we are more likely to truly hear and be heard, be less reactive, and find small moments after conversations to maximise our learning. We are more likely to deeply reflect and tap into our intuition so that we can develop innovations that truly make a difference.
Reflection as purposeful pause
In my experience, there are three parts to this type of reflection around conversations.
a. The intention to reflect.
b. The practice of pausing – a micro-moment
c. The information processing and reflection part. The practice of noticing and processing e.g. reading the room, looking at body language. Or the practice of reflecting in response to a prompt or a question.
So for this type of reflection, linked with conversations, I’d like to reframe reflection as the purposeful pause – or intentional pause.
The LISTEN model
I love an acronym – who doesn’t! So I wanted to put my lived experiences of learning to pause and reflect in conversations into a handy model. The LISTEN model provides a helpful framework to guide you before, during, and after your conversations:
Before:
L – Live a little! Breathe, move, chat, smile, shake it out, etc.
I – Intention setting. Lean into the best mindset – peace, not conflict; curiosity, not irritation; spaciousness, not rushing. Ask yourself, where are you on those scales?
During:
S – Space. Give space for others or yourself to speak; aim to take up space where you usually lack it. Deepen your listening by pausing and leaning into your curiosity.
S – Sensing. Notice what’s between the lines – body language, atmosphere, what you’re picking up beyond words. What do you notice in your own reactions and responses?
T – Time out. Have an exit strategy. Before reacting, breath and notice your emotions. Pause and reflect, listen to your intuition before replying, especially in negotiation moments.
After:
E – Energy. Clear your mind, let go, and refresh. What can you do to refresh yourself in 30-60 seconds – a quick walk, a mini visualisation, or mentally ‘parking’ that conversation?
N – Noticing. Compassionately reflect on what worked and what didn’t, leading to clearer solutions next time. Take a moment to notice both successes and areas to develop.
While we can’t control the culture around us, we may be able to influence it. In demanding, high-pressure cultures, we may need to wait for employers to catch on – but in the meantime, we can take charge of creating micro-moments to pause. Even 30 seconds or a minute here and there through our working day, especially around those important conversations, can make a profound, positive difference.
I’d welcome your feedback as I develop all the tools around this LISTEN acronym/framework.
Thank you to Staff Development Forum, Belbin in Higher Education, for organising and hosting, and to all input and comments including: Janet Marshall, Nicole Hay-Carter, Tracy Ellis, Victoria Davies, Aneesha Patel-Sadler, Julie Stock, Ishanki De Mel
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